One of the most common challenges that come with going through a divorce is explaining the situation to your children. You may not be sure of how to explain the circumstances or how the child’s home life will change. If you want to teach your children about your pending divorce, there are a few tips to follow.
Avoid Blaming Your Spouse
Start by creating a plan with what you’re going to say to your children to ensure you explain everything rationally instead of emotionally. Create a non-blaming narrative to avoid putting your spouse in a negative light, which can create stress and tension for the child. Explain the situation together with their other parent to ensure they have more support and don’t already feel the division taking place.
Discuss the Future
It’s common for kids to have a lot of questions after they learn about your pending divorce. Explain everything in language and terms they can understand. If you’re currently working on a child custody arrangement with your divorce lawyers, you’ll need to hold off on explaining where they’ll spend most of their time. Include your children in the conversation to ensure they can have input in the decisions being made to ensure they feel heard. You’ll also need to avoid making any promises in the future.
Offering reassurance is crucial to help put your child’s fears and feelings at ease as they accept the news. Make it a point to reassure them that they’re not to blame and that the family will still remain a unit. Explain that nothing caused or prevented the situation from occurring.
Accept Their Reaction
Understand that every child reacts differently to the news of a divorce and you can’t expect them to respond in a specific way. Some children become quiet, whereas others ask a lot of questions. It’ll take time for them to adjust to the news and for a normal routine to be established. Remain emotionally present and give them the freedom to ask questions to ensure they know they have a support system in place as they heal and learn how to accept the news.
Knowing the right steps to take to teach your children about your pending divorce can allow you to feel more prepared for discussing the situation. It can ease your nerves and also help you to know the best way to answer some of the questions they have to make the transition slightly easier.